New Blog

Hey guys, if you have been very very sad because you have not heard from Valeria in a while, that's because we have a new blog!

p-v-flores.blogspot.com

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Ciao

Panama tried to prepare me...

As I slowly crutched up the inclined streets of Santa Clara de Arriajan at 12 noon after Technical Training Class, I felt FRUSTRATED, HELPLESS, and EXHAUSTED. The incline seemed to get steeper and longer with each second that went by. As people in the community looked out their front porches at me struggling to get up to my Host house, I would smile at them and pretend that it looked a lot harder than it really was.

Deep down inside I just wanted to throw my crutches, ripped the walking boot off and go jump in an ICE POOL!

Little did I know that getting hurt in Panama would only be a glimpse of the uphill crutching that was to come. Here I am now feeling HELPLESS again. Never in the vision that I had for my life did I see myself depending on ANYONE for anything. I have always been very independent. But the hand that life has delt me now has humbled me once again, and made me realize that I can’t do everything MYSELF.

Now more than ever I am depending on Peter, my family and my friends to keep me going. Whenever people look at me as if I’m struggling, I just smile and pretend that everything is Fine. For those who know me well, they know how difficult accepting the I CAN'T do something really is. Deep down inside I still finding myself wanting to scream, yet there are times where I find that I’m learning to accept the changes in my life and see the strength that I’m taking from this uphill workout.

In Panama, I was so thankful for those people who would help me out, fill the bucket for my bucket-bath, come visit, or simply walk at my CRAWLING SLOW pace. Now I’m grateful for all the friends and family that are not only walking slowly with me but carrying my bags, encouraging me, and helping me notice the beautiful things along the way that my new pace is allowing me to see, that we all would have otherwise missed in our fast-paced, no time for anything, lives.

Whether it was crutching around Panama with my 60lbs Hiking bag on one foot, moving around from one Diablo Rojo (panamanian public buses) to another, or just trying to get through a day in MY NEW LIFE, the frustrations, the emotional and physical dependence, and the struggles are the same. My fellow volunteers in Panama would tell me how much they admired me for managing to do everything we were ASKED to do during our training. Now friends here are impressed at how I've made a seemingly smooth transition into my new role as mother-to-be. I don't know if by trying to make others believe that everything was OKAY I really started believing it, or I believed that everything was okay, and everyone just picked up that vibe. Which ever (the chicken or the egg) that came first, I'm here now...remembering the past that made me strong, and hoping that this experience will only make me stronger for the future.

Though we come to this world alone, and in essence live alone, God places people in our lives to help us along the way. We have to stop and admit that we need the help. Sometimes people around us won't offer it since we have always been so self sufficient...But maybe if we ask, they will help.

NEW BLOG...CHECK IT OUT!

Hello everyone,

Thank you all for you comments and for following this Blog. If you have enjoyed this blog, I encourage you to follow my other blog, Expecting...the Unexpected at:
www.p-v-flores.blogspot.com

Side Note:

As I look back through this blog, I am taken back to all those moments I lived through. I would love to hear about what my entries made you think about. If you want to share them with me, Please EMAIL ME: valeria.rodez@gmail.com.

I hope you check out and like the other blog..."Expecting...the Unexpected."

Have a great day!

culture shock...

When I got back, I was surprised at how easy my transition was. Yes I noticed a lot of things, and was greatful for a lot of the convinient things that were around like light switches, pillows, AC and washers/dryers.

However now that i've finally had a minute to sit and think, I'm realizing that it is hard to come back to this world. In my community, I had to constantly correct people and tell them that I wasn't rich, yet in reality, by their standards, I was! I could afford what I needed and what I wanted aswell. I always had money in my pocket.

Here I am now, with 300 dollars to my name, I am considered dirt poor. Making the mental transition is not easy. Niether is not knowing where the the next income will be coming from...with everything around me containing a higher price-tag. No job lined up and the list of expenses growing by the minute. On the list of changes in the past couple weeks, this topic has been flying under the radar until now when its clearly making itself know. I have never liked depending on anyone, so I need to figure something out fast. All I can do is remain calm and know that it will not be for long.

Life is calling...

...for a change

I’ve been thinking a lot about this blog entry. The time since my last blog entry has been full of LIFE CHANGING EVENTS to say the least.

Now more than ever, I understand the importance of living the moment. In one minute, everything in my life and in the lives of those around me changed. Peace Corps’ slogan is Life is Calling…How far are you willing to go to make a difference? Well I did my best to find out. In that search, I found I was willing to leave everyone I loved and everything familiar to me behind in the hopes that I could change a couple lives and along the way experience something completely different, exciting, and selfulfilling.

Though I can’t continue my service, Life is still calling …this time however, its asking how far I’m willing to go to make a difference in the life of one little boy, my own baby boy (and Peter’s too)

Friday August 7th, when I went into the city to pick up my father, I stopped at the gynecologist office. Little did I know what news awaited me past those doors. About 3 seconds after the check up began, he dropped the news on me… Estas en estado ( you’re in state, translated literally). I could only wonder and ask: En estado de que? (in what kind of state?) He then put gel on my stomach , as he did so, he pointed to the screen where he slowly said: Estas bien embarasada, 18 semanas (you are Very Pregnant…18 weeks). Confused he asked me if I had felt anything, if I had thrown up, if I felt any movements? To all I answered NO. I had no reason to think or even suspect that anything was going on, especially since we got tested the day we arrived in the country for training…and mine had come back negative. I was definitely in a state of shock. Not knowing what to tell Peter or my parents. I felt trapped in a movie or a dream. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I could barely process everything.The doctor gave me some time to talk to Peter and then he came back into the examining room. With Peter on speaker, the doctor checked the baby again and played the heartbeat. In the midst of my tears I managed to ask if the baby was okay since I’ve been working in fields, hiking, horseback-riding, lifting things, moving things, and so much more in the past 4 months. Fortunately, he said yes.

Since that afternoon, a million things have happend:

(If you want details, I will gladly give them to you but here is the super cliff notes version)

I went back to my community and said my good byes. Though it was very difficult, I was happy to see the impact that my presence had made in the community in such short time. I left everything, my projects, some clothes, my Princess, my Caramelo, and all the friends I had made in hopes that I would be able to come back one day (soon) and share all of this with my baby, with Peter, and with my friends and family.

What took 1 year and 6 months to apply and get accepted into, took one afternoon to close. I was Medically Seperated from the Peace Corps. Trying to get home was also a lot more difficult than I would have liked. Its almost as if Panama didn't want to let me leave. My 7am flight got delayed and then when we finally did take off at 8am, we made a U-turn 30 minutes into the flight due to smoke in the cock pit. Fortunately, we made it back to Panama safely but not without a little bit of a scare. We spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon in the airport just waiting and finally got onto the 3pm flight, which didn't leave till 4:30pm due to complications and bad weather. At around 8:45pm I was walking out of immigration in MIA where I saw Peter, Manuela, and Snoopy waiting there! Soooo exciting!

Once here in Miami, we told his grandmothers, some other friends, and the rest of our families that didn't know the news.

Then Peter surpised me with a Trip to Puerto Rico where we spent 3 days talking, tanning, and thinking about all the changes that were coming our way. To my uber surprise, Peter's real intentions for the trip were revealed on thrusday evening when we were horseback riding along the beach. He got off his horse, came around to mine and asked me to MARRY HIM as he opened a little white box with a beautiful DIMOND RING IN IT!! Just out of a fairy tale!
The trip ended with a visit to Ponce where I got to see one of my Best Friends, Leilani.

Upon our arrival back in Miami, the surprises continued. His parents and mine had but together an engagement dinner for us. They invited all our friends and family members. It was awesome.

Soooo Here I am...16 days since I found out that my life was going to change completely. I still have a lot of questions yet I'm not as scared as I was in the Doctor's office that Friday evening. I know that I'm surround by more love and support than anyone could ever dream of. I love Peter and I know he loves me too! Our story begins now.

I am so greatful for everyone in my life and all the experiences that have shaped me into who I am right now.

This might be one of the last Blog entries for "Life is Calling...". However stay tuned, because the writing of my first book has officially begun. Its a dream I have had since I can remember.

Thank you all for following my blog throughout this time. I loved sharing this experience with all of you. I've kind of become addicted to blogging though so I can assure you that it will continue in some way. If you have any questions or comments, please email me.

Hope you all have a great week...

Pictures of this last blog entry will be posted up soon.

HELLO AGAIN!

From Santana: Month 2

I saw MADAGASCAR at the school in los Torretos with some of the kids from my community and neighboring communities. Funny thing is that there was a point in the movie where i was the only one watching...their attention span is VERY limited.

From Santana: Month 2

Yanira and I (mainly Yanira) have been working on some flower clips to sell in Town. We got our first buyer the other day...it was a small order but its a start: 1 dozen flowers. Some other people we have talked to have expressed interest in purchasing some too! Im really excited to she how our project works out.

From Santana: Month 2

Lastly, yesterday was MONUMENTAL! I found a little refridgerator at a Pawn shop in Las Tablas and a little toaster oven. I know you may wonder...how can this girl afford a fridge on a volunteer budget. Truth is, I can´t. I have to be very careful the rest of the month to spend only the NECCESSARY so that i can make it. But the DEAL was great and it is necessary! Imagine living 2 years without 1 cold cup of water...

From Santana: Month 2

An I made an improvised version of Pizza to test the new toaster oven!!!!!

From Santana: Month 2

I´m in the City today because I have a doctor´s appointment AND I have to pick up a very important package at the Airport at 6:30pm...DADDY´s Coming! I´m so excited for him to see Panama, where I´m living, what I´m doing, how I travel, Caramelo, and Princesa!

Other than the little update on this past week, I wanted to give a little inside scoop as to what has been going on in my little head today:

On the bus ride over here I was reading a note that Peter wrote me a while ago. Part of it said: ¨Few of us will find the freedom in ourlives to give 2 years to help the world become a little better.¨ But I started wondering... am i really making the world a little better? I have barely been able to help the few people that I have met in Santana. I think that few people find the freedom in their lives to help themselves become a little better equipt to deal with the world. I´m not even sure that 2 years is enough but I know that it will help. Everyday I question myself and I am tested. People push my limits and I push other people´s too. I actually feel as if I am living my Inter-cultural communications class from UF(sophomore or junior year), live. One thing is to think you understand the differences that exist in culutres and know the terminology: assumptions, perceptions, underlying beleifs, superficial actions... Another thing is to detect all these in daily interactions and work with them successfully.

This reminds me of something a friend, Kecia, at UF once told me when we were talking about finding the right guy. ¨Don´t worry about finding the right guy, what we need to do now is work on being the RIGHT girl so when our time comes around...He´ll find us!¨ A truely wise friend! This also can apply to other things. We don´t have the power to make the world change...however, we can work on changing ourselves and making ourselves be the kind of people that others would want to share this world with. Like that quote says...BE THE CHANGE that you want to see in the world.

I hope you are all doing great. I miss you all! Have a great weekend...I know I am!

By the way...My dad is running the Panama City Half Marathon on Sunday morning. I´ll be scoping the field to see who my competition is for next year. http://marathonpanama.com/

Entering Month 2 of Service!

Shiv, Bob, and Bonnie’s visit was great. They loved my community and saw a lot of potential in the Teja Project I’ve been working on. Teaching the members of the community, that are interested, is going to be a lot harder than I thought!
They in introduced me to Ilka, a woman in Guarare who has an artisan group. She offered me a stand at the Festival de la Mejorana to sell the tiles! I need to get to work fast! Since their visit, I’ve painted 2 more tiles, which isn’t too good.
With Yanira, my host, we have been working on Flowered clips for women and girls. With a glue gun that doesn’t work , it’s been a little more challenging , but we have made about 10 . Today in town we are going around seeing if any stores are interested. This is going to be a little harder than we thought, but I know we sell them!
This past weekend, on Saturday ,a group of us hiked to Canajagua, the next community from us, up the hill. It was beautiful. Half and hour into the hike, we bumped into a family of wild monkeys! Soooo cute! We were careful though, cause we didn’t want them peeing on us or throwing their poopoo at us either! Our next stop was at Justa’s house. Justa is a 93 year old woman who can still see , and still braids the strings for making Hats!! He was so funny. She never leaves her house anymore but has an incredible view from her porch and says that has everything she needs. I hope to go back soon and talk to her more…I wanna know more about what she has seen and done in those 93 years of life!
Almost 2 hours from when we started, we walked through the town of Canajagua. If you looked down or blinked, you would miss it for sure. There were a couple towers- news tower, a tiny school, and about 7-8 houses. We were going to visit a family that lived just down the hill from Canajagua. We finally got there a half hour later. The view from the house was incredible. There we saw a couple of the other kids from our community that were visiting their grandparents. We ate papaya and oranges there and I took a knap. A little later, Chino, the Uncle, came back to the house from planting rice. He makes hats! He showed yanira and I how to do it. We were so excited that we invited him to teach us in Santana next weekend! I would love to make my own hat! Can you imagine. If any of you guys want one, LET ME KNOW!
The hike back to the house took a little longer since we took a different route and stopped at an Agro tourism farm. The farm had a little bit of every crop, a swing set, and a fish tank! It was really nice. I do hope that I can help them out with some areas that their farm needs improvement on! Finally we made it back before night fall.
Sunday worked with Ricardo and one of the girls, Kirian , setting up the pipes to fill the fish tanks with water. Hopefully they will fill up fast so I can go get the fish seeds and start growing some fish!!!

Yesterday was 1 month since my arrival in Santana! Can you believe it! In the morning I planted a pineapple near the site where my house is going to be! Maybe once I move in, I can eat a pineapple!

Saturday was 26 months with Peter!

I Love you!

My dad is coming on Friday to run the PanamaCity Half Marathon and visit me!

This is a lone one....

I´m bad at keeps things short...=)

So it has been a while since i have been able to update this blog, and by while I mean almost 2 weeks..lol. I´ve been debating how to cover what has happened in the past week and a half and I´ve decided try to briefly discuss what has occurred.

I´ll start by saying that Princessa in doing all better. She has been chasing chickens since last Monday. Right now she´s starting to put on some of the weight that she lost during the week that she was sick.

Update on the construction of my house: none...other than we moved some of the pieces of wood, that we cut a couple weeks ago, over from Tin´s house to the area in front of where my house will be. It took 8 men, 3 horses, and me to move these 8 pieces of wood 2.5km. The heaviest pieces are still over there and the forecast doesn´t look promising for moving the other wooden logs any time soon. The road to Tin's house is almost inaccessible through any vehicle anytime it rains...even if it is only for a couple minutes. All I can do is wait and see what happens.

Last Sunday was the begining of the Santa Librada Festivities. Santa Librada is the patron Saint of Las Tablas. The festivites are a week long and they include everything from Processions with the statue to bull fights and pollera contests. I was there for the start of the Festivities. I went with a couple people from my community. Shorty after our arrival in town, a parade started led by people of all ages dressed in the tipico attire and dancing to tipico music. That part was followed by a parade of horses with the Reina de la Pollera on the lead horse. After the procession, most of the community scattered from the main street to all the little stands that were around selling cutaras (leather, handmade sandlas), sombreros, keychains, hamburgers, hotdogs (in every form), smoothies, pinchos, cotton candy, popcorn, and mariquitas (just to name a few). Curiosity got me a backstage pass into one of the little cafès to learn how to make carimanolas...a meat empanada made with yucca instead of maize. I ended up helping the cooks in the back put together about 80 in about a half hour. I was sweating back there but I enjoyed the experience. The people in the kitchen also got a kick out of seeing me help them make them.
I caught up with the rest of the group at the Park in the middle of the Plaza and spent the rest of the evening walking around and looking around at all the different kinds of things that were to see, taking in all the smells, and all the music. The procession with the saint started at around 8pm and ended around 11pm. Once the procession was over, we headed back to the comunity, a couple pounds heavier from all the food, with an authentic panamanian sombrero, and sore feet.

Last Monday was Colombia`s Independence day! I didn´t do anything special to celebrate but I did got to the school in Los Toretos, a community nearby where some of the students from Santana attend. It was one of the best days I had had til that point. The school has 2 rooms, a little kitchen, 1 teacher, and 6 students. There are only 3 grades taught: 1&2 together and 6th. My plans were to observe the class but I ended up teaching that same day an english class and a computer class.

Last Tuesday I went into the city for a dentist appointment. It took forever to get there and I saw the dentist for a couple minutes and was free the rest of the day. I ran some errands at the Peace Crops office and then met up with Mark ( who had just gotten in from Vegas) for dinner at Beirut…delicious Lebanese food that I had been craving. After dinner he gave me a bag that my parents had sent me a couple weeks ago with SO MUCH COOL STUFF!!! My favorite part were the sour worms! Once again I stayed at Costa Azul and thoroughly enjoyed the big bed, pillows, HOT shower, and AC. I must admit though that the AC got me a little sick since I´m not used to it anymore.
When I got back the next day to my community, I went straight to work. With Ricardo and some kids in the community, we planted cucumbers. It went by pretty quick cause I just pointed to the holes and the kids planted the seeds.
The next day, some MIDA (Miniserio de desarollo agropequario) workers came by to meet me and offer their services. They told me that they were willing to help me and the community with whatever projects they could.

After they left, I painted the first 3 roof tiles. One of my ideas for the community is to paint old broken roof tiles with TIPICO things like cattle, horses, maize, corn, polleras to then sell at the festivals in Guarare and las Tablas. I drew a couple samples. We will see how this project goes. If nothing else, I know I will enjoy doing it…haha.

Friday we did the first fundraising activity with the community. It was a lot of work to make and sell those tamales. Walking door to door was not easy…especially since the tamales were only sold for a QUARTER. I still cant believe it. That day we made 90, sold all of them but got paid for less than half...that´s how they do business here! RIDICULOUS. We had a meeting that night after the last tamales were sold. There I started to see why working in these kinds of communities is SO HARD. Some of the people there, mainly one actually, was under the impression that I was going to organize this group so that at the end of the year they could divide the money raised amongst all the people who participate and are part of the group. I told them that the money raised SHOULD be used to invest in things that can bring the group more INCOME not disperse it and loose it all. That meeting ended and I was a little sadden by the reality of the situation.

Saturday I went to a Cavalgata (a horse parade) in another community. I went with the grandfather of my community. It was about 1.5 hours away and the parade/procession was (in honor of Santiago the apostle) was about 15minutes…ahaha. It was followed by a Catholic Mass. The priest was harsh on the community. He called out people left and right for things they were doing wrong, but I thought his homily was great. Shortly after the priest gave his final blessing, we left back to Santana and brought back some star fruit, words of wisdom and a sore tushy.

Sunday there was a Junta de arroz…a party for planning rice. It took all morning! There were men showing up from all over the area to help Algis plant his rice. The men were all surprised that I was able to withstand the heat and work with them out in the field. It is hard work, like I said before. To top it off, my hand started swelling cause I got bitten by two crazy ants! The men had a bottle of SECO-tequilla, which they suggested I put on my hand to make it better..lol. My hand is still swollen now.
When the junta was over, all I wanted to do was take a nice long shower…BUT OF COURSE there was NO WATER when we got back to the house. Yanira and the girls decided to go to the creek to shower…we took Princesa to shower too…she didn´t like it much..ahaha. The creek was no deeper than my shin, and full of little fishes, shrimp, and sardines that were nibbling at my feet (a little annoying).
Instead of crashing to sleep all afternoon, which is what I wanted to do, I sucked up my exhaustion and went over with Yanira to the store, tienda that she owns. We started re-organizing and cleaning all the merchandise. While doing that we discussed possible changes to improve the store, sales, and decrease the debt . All the kids in the community helped which was nice. At the end of the day, you could already see the envornment of the store changing to a more professional one!

Not everything was peachy in the environment though... Later that evening, some of the members of the community voiced their opinion of how they didn´t want to be a part of the group I was organizing because they didn´t agree with they way things were being done. They told me that I needed to adjust and understand how they did business here. The convo quickly escalated and some kids even got involved saying that they had formed their own group with Ricardo (my host´s husband) to show me and the other adults how to run a group properly. That really hurt because At no point have my intentions been to do anything but try to help these people and here they were telling me that they didn´t want or need my help. I couldn´t help the tears that were ready to erupt from within me. I excused myself and left as fast as I could. As I walked to Yanira´s house, I felt more alone, frustrated, and discouraged than ever. The PC warned up that our work was going to be hard….but I didn´t believe them until then. It´s very hard to hear or feel as if your working towards something that the people who are benefiting from it don´t even appreciate or even want.
I later calmed down and went to bed knowing that Monday would bring a new week and an new day!

I decided that I am gonna let the community organization go for a little and try to do things with people one on one. Maybe later they will realize that if they work in a GROUP they can accomplish more….but then again, HOW do you teach people to work together when they just DON´T want to?

Yesterday I went back to the school to teach English and Computer class again. There I used the computer to write a letter to the representative for help with the projects that I have in mind for the information center (that some members of the community say is impossible to get). I also wrote to the MIDA officers who came to visit, requesting some seeds for different members of the community.


Some exciting news: Shiv( TEA volunteer in Guarare), Bonnie(ex-volunteer, owner of the bed ´n breakfast in El puerto), and Riego (Head of tourism organization in Guarare), from Guarare are interested in doing tourism projects with Santana. They want to come this week to meet with me and some members of the community and see what potential the community had for these kinds of agro-tourism.

On the emotional front, I find myself crying and getting emotional over the smallest things...what can I say...I GET INVOLVED...I let things get to me. So the way I see it, I have two choices now: Toughen up or operate on my tear ducts...haha. There have been some really low lows....but this is a new week and already some things are falling into place. baby steps.... It´s all part of the process.
I miss my family and friends, and Peter very much!

The end of the month couldn`t have come any slower, I was struggling to get through with some 4 dollars that I had in my hand. Soon we will enter a new month, with a new paycheck coming in and with a little better idea of the reality of working in my community.

Birthday shout outs to Ricardo Cabrera and Bruno Ocampo.

Shout out to my Cousin Carolina Rodriguez in Bogota, who won the beauty peagent...Miss Cundinamarca (province which Bogota belongs to) and who will be preparing for the Miss Colombia Pageant in November in cartagenta...God willing I will be there to see my family and celebrate her possible victory. She is the second Miss Bogota in the Family...

Debbie in 1995 and now Carolina in 2009.

Caramelo Escaso...

From Santana: Month 1

Yesterday afternoon when I came home from town ( from visiting Princesa at the Vet's office), I was met by a sworm of kids on the street. I couldn't make out exactly what they were saying because they were all screaming at the top of their lungs. I was able to catch a couple words...LLEGÓ, APÚRATE, CABALLO.
Then I put it all together. They were telling me to hurry, that my horse had arrived. As I approached the last hill before Dochi's house, my heart started beating super fast. The blistering headache that had been eating at me all morning was gone, instantly. As I turned the corner, there he was!

His owner, Israel Vasquez was waiting on a trunk of wood. We had agreed on $125 for the horse and he was asking for $40 for the saddle. After looking the saddle over, I offered him $150 total. The saddle was falling apart...but a saddle is better than no saddle. He reluctantly agreed and we signed a little document I put together:

Yo, Israel Vasquez, le vendo el caballo caramelo y la
montura este dia 15 de julio del 2009 por el precio de $150 ( ciento
cincuenta dolares).

el firmo _____________ yo firme ______________

2 testigos firmaron: __________________, ____________________

Once I Israel signed the horse over, I quickly went over to MY horse and gave him a huge HUG! Then I unsaddled him and took him over to the hose. I gave him the best longest shower of his life. When he was done, I gave him some corn husks and some plantain leaves. Then Benigno and I went to let the horses out to pasture! That was when I decided to name him Caramelo Escaso. I tried to think back on all the birthday, Christmas, toothfairy, and eyelash wishes that were finally coming true. As he walked away in the pasture with the sun setting on the mountain in the background, I thought about how long I had waited for this moment.

From Santana: Month 1

This cat keeps finding the Craziest things... Last night he found this lovely creature trying to sneak into the kitchen...

Got to love cats...hahaha

From Santana: Month 1

Ups and Downs of PC service

I just got back into town because Princesa is in the Hospital...She has ParvoVirus that affects her intestines and her heart. She has been vomiting since Sunday and yesterday starting with bloody diarrhea. She is really weak but I hope that she makes it through the next couple days. I have gotten really attached to her.

From Santana: Month 1

Yesterday I was really sad when I had to leave her. There is one transport that goes in and out of my town so I had to go. I cried a lot of the afternoon but the kids in the community wanted their first english class so I had to wipe my tears and compose myself. The first class was okay. There were about 6 or 7 kids from ages 5-15. To my dismay, they had trouble writing the alphabet in spanish. Though almost all of them have english class in school, I started with the basics, the alphabet. Then we got into presentations, like Hello, my name is...I am from....I know these kids have different study habits and work ethic but I know they will learn fast.

This past weekend, we built a clay oven at Benigno's house. We worked on it all day. It was difficult because there were times when there were up to 10 people working and then there were times when there were 3...(2 kids and myself). Most of the men that were there were helpful. I did bump heads with my host's husband because he seems like the type that likes doing things at his pace. No one in the community thought the oven was going to be completed that day. They all thought we would start...but finish it later. I am not sure exactly how the oven will turn out since I have never made one before, but I hope that it works! I was happy to surprise the community and show them that things can be FINISHED. They are used to doing things slower, i understand, but when you want something finished, you need to focus on it and stay on it until the end. I think working with my host's husband will be most difficult since he is so hard headed.

Part of this experience i guess is doing things, even when you don't want to or are discouraged. On Sunday there were times where I just wanted to give up on the oven. It was hard work, mostly physical (collecting the fresh cow menuer from the fields around and walking it over to the place where the oven was going to be made, using a pick ax to get the clay and using a broken wheel barrel to bring it over to the area, clearing the area where the oven was going to be made, building the roof over the oven to protect it from the rain); not to mention the emotional struggle of conflicting personalities... and yet i had to suck up whatever emotions were errupting in me and finish the oven. Yesterday when all i wanted to do was be with my princess, I had to gather myself and teach these kids, reminding myself to have patience with them for not knowing the alphabet in spanish let alone english.

The Oven:

HOW COULD I FORGET SOME CRAZY IMPORTANT NEWS!!!

I bought a horse on Saturday afternoon! He arrives at my site tomorrow afternoon. For those of you who know me, YOU UNDERSTAND HOW BIG A DEAL THIS IS!! I can' believe i'm finally going to have MY OWN horse!

Gracias Luz Mila!!

From Santana: Month 1

From Santana: Month 1

Funny Image: the house cat brought in her dinner sunday night...I caught her trying to run out of the house when she realized that bringing in dinner was a bad idea... RIP little Birdy

Princessa Bella

From Santana: Month 1

HERE is my little Princesa. I know that she looks adorable but she can be a little devil sometimes. She is super playful and is doing a lot better than when I first got her. This morning she had worms coming out of her tush so I got her some parasite meds at the Vet´s office in Las Tablas. She is super playful and loves chasing the chickens all around the house hahaha.

I get nervous when I leave her at the house alone, but my host family says that she already knows that this is where she is fed and that she won´t run away.... I sure hope not!

SNOOPY!!!!! I love you and I miss you....I can´t wait to see you! I keep telling Princesa all about how good you behave and how awesome you are. I hope she doesn´t start getting jealous of you...hahaha

Cultural Snapshot 2

EVERYTHING IS EATEN WITH RICE!!

The last couple days I have cooked to show them some of the meals that I like to eat that are AMERICAN. I also do it to help around the house a little since I have invaded their home for the last couple days and will keep invading for the next couple weeks.

My host seems to enjoy the break. Between us, I don´t really like all the fried food that they eat all the time =(.

From Santana: Month 1

First meal I made was little soft tacos with guacamole,tettuce, refried beans, ground beef, and whole wheat tortillas. All the kids that tried it loved it...HOWEVER... They all added a mound of Rice and corn to their plates. They found it quite odd that I ate the plain taco.

The second meal I made was Pasta with tuna. That one wasn´t as much of a success. One of the girls in the house didn´t like it and I don´t blame her. I didn´t eat this until I got to college and realized how cheap tuna is and how fast and easy this plate was to make...lol. Again they added a mound of rice.

The third meal I made was Chicken Alfredo. This was yesterday afternoon. It came out incredibly delicioso I might add. As each of the family member trickled into the kitchen to get their plates, they looked up at me and asked where the chicken was...and then of course....DONDE ESTA EL ARROZ. I tried to explain it to them that RICE and PASTA are both carbs....so when you eat ONE you don´t eat the other. It went in one ear and out the other as they walked away with their chicken alfredo with rice and avocado

From Santana: Month 1

Ohh well...I guess it´s pointless but at least i´m trying to show them something different than fried chicken, fried hotdogs, fried tortillas, fried beef and RICE

Culture Snapshot:

I think that i´m going to try and post Culture Snapshots everynow and then.

Here is the first one:

I´ve been coming in the last couple days to town for various reasons. One is my new puppy and the other in Gaby, one of the girls in the community, was competeing in the HighSchool Beauty Pageant. The twist to this contest is that the candidate that collects the most amount of money is the one that wins...

On Wednesday there was a caravan where she sat on a car and drove around Guarare... and we followed in cars... catching glimpses of her every couple turns. I had the misfortune of going in the car with her mother, who was a nervous reck... lets just say it was a difficult afternoon...she reminded me a lot of my aunt: Mercedes.

Yesterday,Thursday, there was a show. The show started with a dance number to MAMBO NUMBER 5. Then that was followed by a runway show. Students from the school claimed that modeling was amoung the student body´s many talents. These girls, and guys were serious. Tyra would have had a field day at the show. Gaby wore 3 outfits: first was casual ( brown shirt, jean shorts, and bronze high heels), second was coctail dress ( a little green dress with the bronze shoes), and the third and final was an evening gown.

In the end, the other candidate raised more money and ended up winning. Gabriela is now Princess of her High School. This afternoon there is a dance at the school in celebration of the New Queen and Princess of the school.

So I´ve arrived!

From Santana: Month 1

I´ve arrived at my site.... to stay this time. Last week I spent a couple days in Santa Clara beach. Un fortunately it was rainy and overcast all the days, but it was nice to hang out with the group for the last time.

Thursday last week i got some bad news. Yanira, my counterpart in Santana who was taking care of my baby... chandoso, called me. She told me that he didn´t make it...and had died that morning... :(... even though i hadn´t gotten to even touch him, i was still sad. I had been looking forward to seeing him as soon as I got to my site.

When I arrived in Santana Friday afternoon, there were a couple people waiting for me at Yanira´ s house. It was really nice. To my surprise, the girls had moved out of their room and they had placed a table for me in the room for my books and stuff, and they had installed a DOOR. I was not expecting that at all. It was really nice of them. Before I was done unpacking, I went outside insearch of material to build my self a shoe rack...and this is what I found:

From Santana: Month 1

Saturday on the Fourth of July I went to a Matanza in a nearby town. In the middle of the party, they congratulated me on my independence day... it was really nice. The women were all dressed straight out of Dolphin mall sale... specifically PAPAYA store... ( Manuela, you know what I mean.)

Sunday I met Bonnie Birker, a former Peace Corps Panama Volunteer in El Puerto, 3km from Guarare. She served here 40 years ago as a volunteer here and came back now to open a Bed & Breakfast... Her place was awesome and she was too.

From Santana: Month 1

From Santana: Month 1

German Guy, Alexis ( american highschooler doing community service in Guarare), Me, and Shiv ( My closets PCV in Guarare). All of us where at the 4th of July party that Bonnie had at her house.

Yesterday, the real work began. I helped 2 of the community members clear out fields with my machete. That work is NO JOKE. It was hot out there. The more i cleared, the more trees and weeds I found. You have to get low to the ground to cut better...which is awesome for back pains. A fter a while I couldn´t feel my pinky and ring finger on my right hand because of gripping the machete! By mid afternoon, we finished, and I already had blister...EVEN THROUGH THE GLOVES i was wearing... un believable. I guess i´ll toughen up here..haha.

In the evening we walked through mud ( mid-calve) to a community members house, TIN. Af ter a 20 minute walk through mudd, and trees, and going through a couple barred wire fences, we arrived at his house. It looked as if it was straight out of a witch story...lol. But the great thing is that he had 2 puppies at his house...I fell in love with one! Even though she had flies and skin problems, I asked if i could buy her. The couple gave her to me for free....and I brought her home. I put some pulga OFF powder on her and made her a little bed... she wimpered for a little but soon after dinner, she fell asleep. This morning I she was as happy as could be. I came into town, las tablas, to get her some meds and vitamins. I also have to run some other errands before i go back to Santana.

Clearing fishtanks awaits me in the afternoon! And tonight im making tacos for my host family with guacamole! I gotta run now to get ingredients!

Love you all and MISS YOU!!

La nueva Princesa de Santana:

From Santana: Month 1

IMPORTANT UPDATES

On the side panel of the Blog under ADDRESS and PHONE, I made some changes.

My new address is posted along with a public phone that is near my community.

The Peace Corps Office in Ciudad del Saber doesn´t want us getting all our mail sent there because they don´t have anywhere to put it. Please send anything to this new address. Make sure you don´t send anything valuable or monetary since i´m not sure how dependable this post office is!! =)

Official Start Date: June 30, 2009

Start date: June 30,2009-----End date: June 30, 2011

I have exactly 2 years from TODAY to accomplish everything I want to accomplish in my Peace Corps Service!

What exactly that is, I am not sure right now, but as time goes by, I hope those goals start taking shape as the needs of my community become more clear!

The last couple days have been pretty hectic, running around the Peace Corps office filling out papers, getting malaria medication, making copies of teaching manuals, learning how to fill out VRF (Volunteer Report Forms), and just ironing out details before officially getting started.

On Friday at around 2pm I'll be arriving at my site....to STAY! Between now and then we were given a little break to gather ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally. A peaceful beach on the pacific coast awaits my arrival later today. Who can say that the first couple days of their new job, they get vacation days... No wonder Peace Corps ranked 5th on the List of Top Employers in 2008 ( http://www.black-collegian.com/issues/2ndsem08/top100_ranking.htm )


Keep in mind that Goal #3 of the peace corps is to teach other Americans about Panamanian culture......sooooo....I can't for everyone to come visit.

I miss you all and want to thank you all back home, as well as the friends that i've made here for helping me through the first part of this trip.

Chapter one ended yesterday.

Chapter two starts today!

I am officially a PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER

As the Vice-president of Panama, Samuel Lewis Navarro, thanked us on behalf of his country for being here and wished us much success in our communities, tears started rolling down my face. I wasn't sure why I was so emotional. It could be that we had just been sworn in by Barbara Stephenson, US Ambassador to Panama and sitting there I was thinking about how fast the last 10 weeks had gone by. It was all a burr. I couldn't recall an exact moment, all I could recall were feelings and emotions that had overcome me in the last couple weeks. Just 10 weeks and I feel like this time has forced me to change. I've become more appreciative of little things, simple comodities have brought me so much joy, and the value of certain things has gone up while the value of others has decreased.2 years seems like an eternity from now but it's going to fly by...i know. I wonder what else I will learn and adapt to.

After the ceremony was over I got to mingle with the Vice-President, the Ambassador, a life size poster of Obama, and other honored guests, as well as all the Peace Corps Training Staff and my fellow VOLUNTEER friends...lol.

Though the food was incredible, my favorite part of the evening was discovering that THE GATOR NATION truely is EVERYWHERE!! In the middle of my conversation with the Mrs. Stephenson's husband, I realized that both he and his wife were GATORS, as well as a former Peace corps volunteer from Liberia and her husband! Here I was in the middle of a room full of people from all over the US of all ages and what did we share...our GATOR PRIDE!
(we even took pictures doing the Gator CHOMP!)

From the napkins stamped with the US seal, to the different style toothpicks, all the details were perfect. It hasn't been an easy couple weeks having to adapt to bug attacks, crutches, traveling in sufocating diablos rojos but here I am now, OFFICALLY a Peace Corps Panama Volunteer. I am offically one of the 182 peace corps volunteers currently serving in Panama and one of the thousands around the world!

I will post pictures soon...=)

I WENT TO MY SITE!!!

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed in the things you didn't do than the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

-Mark Twain

I read this quote on another volunteer´s blog and I really liked it. Next week I will be sailing away from the safe harbor of new friends and familiar places to catch the trade winds around Santana. There is so much to explore, so many dreams to fortify and realize, and endless treasures to discover. I hope that in twenty years, the tears that are rolling down my face will be ones joy for having risked everything and at the same time gained more than I can ever imagine. Experiences in our lives are as ¨once in a lifetime¨as we make them...I plan on soaking in this entire adventure.

SANTANA
not SANTA ANA

A week ago I was in El Farallon at a seminar where I met my community counterpart, Yanira Velazquez Rodriguez. She picked me out of the crowd because she had been told that her volunteer was wearing a boot.

After the 2 day seminar, Yanira and I left to Santana. I wasn´t feeling well and I was nervous. I had all these questions running through my head: What if I don´t like my community? What if the people don´t really like me? What if I don´t feel safe? Before getting to my site, my host stopped in Las Tablas to get groceries. I walked in and out of every isle. As i went through, my unhappy feelings started to fade away as I salivated over all the varieties or fruits, cerals, house products, school supplies, books, cheeses, and shampoos they had. I knew I was off to a good start: AT LEAST THERE WAS GOOD FOOD NEARBY!

When I got to the site...this sign welcomed me:

My new entourage:

I talked with the Yanira´s parents, nephews, nieces, brothers and sisters (who are the bulk of my community...hahaha plus a few others to add up to a grand total of 45 people in 17 houses). I was a bit overwelmed being surrounded by so many people who looked at me with eyes full of curiosity, hope, and sheer astonishment. They did not understand why I would come visit them, why i would come live with them, and help them.

They asked me questions like how far NY was from my house? How I looked so American if my parents were Colombian? If I had cattle in Miami? How many famous people I knew?

They are all really exctied to teach me things, words that they use (like gueguerro for throat---which they get a kick out of hearing me say), but most especially, learning...learning english, learning new agriculture techniques, learning about American Culture, learning about our food, learning how to draw and paint, learning how to make themsleves marketable, and learning how to work together.

At times, I felt like I was in Peace Corps Commercial. I got asked all the questions that the training staff warned we would be asked. Though there is no right or wrong answer...but I felt ready for all of their questions. The more I answered them, the more I really started beliving that I could really be a change agent in their community. I started noticing the potential for projects this community had. I saw how my sole presence in the community brought an aire of excitement, motivation, and encouragement to the few people I got to meet. The rummor mill ran fast around my area. I had invitations by the 3rd day to work in nearby towns.

All the families i met in the week i was there, openned their doors to me with hugs and kisses. They talked about how much they are going to miss me when I leave in 2 years....I kepted thinking...I JUST MET THEM,lol.

I felt important everytime I was introduced to someone new, not because I was an ¨extranjera¨, but because to them I was la Licenciada Valeria Rodriguez, or la Biologa Rodriguez. A college degree that didn´t really feel like a big deal when I recieved it a couple months ago is now what identifies me in this community as someone who has achieved the impossible.

The grandfather, Benigno, sat to dinner with me the last night I was in Santana. As he looked over at me, shyly he said: I would have never imagined that in my lifetime I would find myself eating with ¨an americana¨ in the house I made with my own hands, on the land that my father and grandfather both worked and loved.

I didn´t know what to say. I need them as much or maybe even more than they need me. By helping them build themsleves up, Im going to be able to build myself stronger too. This experience isn´t going to be easy, [especially with terrencial rains, not the optimal commodities, and an inconsistent workforce], but as I looked around Santana I knew that I got off to the right start. I am going to be surrounded by good loving people.

I can´t wait to get back on July 3rd and start the contruction of my NEW HOME! It is going to be very small because i´m on a small budget but it will be mine and it will have 2 spectacular views, and it will be welcoming. Plans are to make it with Penca roof, and 4x8 fibrocement slabs. The goal is to have the home done in these next 2 months!!

I learned how to make cheese with Freddy

And I have a NEW BEST FRIEND: CHANDOSO!

Im gonna call him Chandis (nickname). I met him the first day I got to my site. I havn´t been able to touch him YET cause he is fully of flies and ticks. But I already got him puppy food, medicine, and a shampoo. When I get back in a couple days, Im gonna take him into the vet´s office to get some shots and a check up! I wanted to buy a dog, but Chandis is already in Santana´s streets and needs love....which is exactly what he is going to get! and food, and showers, and a warm cozy bed, and more love!!!

Dear Snoopy,

I miss u and love you!!!...but Chandoso isn´t as lucky as you.

He doesnt sleep in a warm bed everynight and eat good pedigree

canned food mixed with the hard dog food. He is lucky if he gets some

rice scraps. He will never replace you in my heart snoopy...I promise.

LOVE YOUUUU...pórtate bien!

In other news, our Swear-in Ceremony was moved to this FRIDAY! I will offically be a PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER!!!

Can you believe I have been living in Panama for 9 weeks?

Happy Father`s Day Next Weekend

I might not be able to get online or have phone reception on Father´s Day so I wanted to make sure that I said:

HAPPY FATHER`S DAY DADDY!!!

and all the other father´s out there!

Especially in my life, my daddy has been there for me in everything that I`ve done or tried to do, always supportive, always postive, always ready with some inspirational words.
He has taught me and my sister to never expect less of others or ourselves.
Daddy thank you so much for being you! Keep up the good work running!!! I know that you are going to do awesome when you come run the Panama City Marathon!!!

I love you daddy!

End of week 7 beginning of week 8

Sooooooo I´m on my way to El Farallon where I will meet my community counterpart.

The las couple hours in Santa Clara I spent packing.

SOMETHING THE PEACE CORPS DOESNT TELL YOU BEFORE YOU COME IS TO KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY WILL GIVE YOU 70OBS WORTH OF BOOKS AND BINDERS, A HUGE WATER FILTER, A BUG NET AND ETC.

I finished packing and brought half my stuff with me on this trip. I will leave this at the house that I pick as my host family for the next month or so!!!

little about yesterday... I spent sometime at the Santa Clara SPA in the morning. By SPA i mean the front porch of my host families house with my feet in a 5 gallon bucket half filled with water soaking my feet before I gave myself a Pedicure. Then I did other facial work....=)...you know what they say about first impressions!

my SPA Clients and helpers

In the evening i was invited to a 1 year-olds b-day party. Dejavu from the last one: arroz con pollo, chicha (5 gallon bucket of water with added orange powder), cake, and of course, a PIÑATA (of winnie the pooh). The two little girls i went with had the time of their lives.

the party
Well I must head out now...EL FARALLON and SANTA ANA await me!

Week 7

The parade in Santa Clara for Enviornmental AWARENESS put on by the CEC group

therapist on left and Mark on right

Most of the week I spent traveling back and forth between Santa Clara and the City. It was tiring but the therapy has been worth it; The physical therapy for my foot and the emotional therapy for my sanity.


Last night I turned down and invitation to go out with some friends in the city for some relaxing alone time to watch a movie in bed. A couple months ago I would have said, even if your tired, pull yourself together Valeria, get ready...lets´go! Now here I was with an incredible picnic dinner and a movie in an air conditioned room and I didn´t feel the urge to go out. Am I really starting to change?

Speaking of change, I`ve thought about it a lot lately, especially since my time in Santa Clara is almost up. Ive been questioning if i`ve left the impact that I wanted to leave in my short time here. Everytime, my answer is a little different but it hasn`t been YES.


I`ve slowly been arriving at the realization that CHANGE requires time, lots of patience, and focus. Time and focus that i didn´t really have with my accident and all the traveling we´ve done during training and the Patience that i still need to develop to ---change the things I can, accept the things I can´t, and the wisdom to know the difference.


Last night I read an article in LA VAINA (the peace corps newsletter)-THOUGHTS on EVALUATION.THe author said that when we as trainees arrive, we are quick to point out the things that do not work and we don`t take time to notice the things that do work.


The article also said that our confidence in our abilty to CHANGE things and DO THINGS BETTER is higher and our HUMILITY is lower when we arrive. As time goes by and our humility grows, our confidence tends to lower.

Reading this article I was amazed at howperfectly I fell in the category of new arrivee. How quick i´ve been to criticize flaws in the system that are seemingly simple to solve, flaws in current volunteers` air of complacence (I don´t know if thats a word), and flaws in the country as a whole.


I am begining to notice that it´s not as easy as suggesting that change happen. If it were that simple then people wouldn´t have to dedicate their whole lives to it, and countries wouldn`t find themselves on a downward spiral.

Our culture in the States teaches, encourages, and rewards hard work. I was raised in a home where my parents supported me in everything that I wanted to accomplish, always gave me the confidence to believe that I can achieve anything I put my mind to. And it just so happend to work out that way in a lot of areas of my life, school and running. I grew up with a sport that reiterates the importance of consistency, dedication, and hardwork; a sport where talent can only go so far and the rest is will power and guts.


Yet there are cultures where kids aren´t asked: What would you do if you were President? or What do you want to be when you grow up? There are cultures like, the one i´m experiencing now, that settle for the lifestyle that they were born into. To teach someone in these communities that they can achieve great things if they work hard at it is a difficult concept to get across. Something that is so simple and deeply rooted in some people, can be sooooo OUT THERE for others to grasp. In fact, it is so difficult that volunteers lose hope in their abilities. I do want to become more humble in the face of life and change but I want the confidence in my abilities to grow.


Some people whom I talk with or who read this my think that it is very romantic of me to think that I´m actually changing someone or something. And some even tell me that I am going to wake up one day to a sad reality....the reality of the REAL WORLD. When I come across people like that, I wonder why it is that I have to wake up from my world to enter theirs? I wonder the same thing about them. What will happen when they wake up one day to the REAL WORLD and realize that making money isn´t everything, that life doesn´t all have to make sense, and that there IS GOOD LEFT in the world if your willing to look for it.


I know that there are a lot of things that I could be doing right now, that would be WAYYYY more comfortable, closer to home, and easier, but then that would go against what I´ve been taught my whole life, HARDWORK PAYS OFF.

This week I leave to a Seminar with my counterpart and then later in the week I will visit my Community for the FIRST TIME. I will be taking half my stuff to MOVE IN!!!

Some more Pictures of the week =)

Special Post

CONGRATULATIONS DR. LEILANI Margarita Caraballo !!!

SHE IS GOING TO MEDICAL SCHOOL!!!!

She was accepted into Ponce School of Medicine!!!!

(FYI: this is the only time i will put this terrible combination of colors on my blog)

[GO GATORS!!]

Week 6...the pictures say it all

Where to start?
I was in EL CORTEZO this week for cultural week. It was in the Azuero region, where i will be for the next two years! I stayed with the cutest older couple Frai and Melida. I had my own room! So many things happend that I don`t know where to begin.
The whole week i got to horse back ride! There were horses roaming around loose just eating grass. I made Cutaras...sandals, I made a slingshot...biombo, played with iguanas, and I lasso-ed in a calf roping competition with the men from the community. I got to eat really yummy arepas, which they call tortillas here. I was incommunicated from the world for a whole week without cellphone service but we made it work! luckily I was able to talk to Peter and my parents the whole week!!! Thanks to COLLECT =)!!!

To top the week off, a group of us met up and went to SANTA CLARA BEACH! It was beautiful!!!! Yesterday we got in around 3 in the afternoon and went straight to the beach after putting all our bags in little cabanas that overlooked the water. For dinner I had CORVINA ENTERA FRITA with patacones. For the rest of the evening and night we hung out on the beach.

This morning i got up right at sunrise (5:45am) and walked (hobbled) over to the beach. I saw the sun come up and then at around 8:45 i had an incredible scrumptious breakfast...steak, eggs, and papitas fritas! with a huge glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

The morning kepted getting better and better...as i was paying for breakfast I saw a young man go by on a horse. Of course my heart jumped for joy....so i waved him down and he came over. I asked him if i could ride his horse and he said...yea...$3. Before he was done telling me how much i was on the horse!! I rode for about 1 hour up and down the beach. I was so happy. I couldn´t belive how beautiful and desolate the beach was, the smell of the horse, the sound of the waves, the fact that i was on the pacific coast in my home for the next 2 years! This morning I fell in love the ocean all over again.

After riding around, I swam in the ocean with gretchen, natalie, audrey, and damian for a while and then we all went to get ready for our teck back to Santa Clara of ARRAIJAN =(. We had an incredible lunch...super american of all of us to order hamburguesas and papas fritas, but it was delicious!




Now Im in the city...a little burnt and a little worn out but very happy!

There were some special days this week....

Happy Anniversary AMORCITO!!! 2 years!!!

Happy Birthday Annie, Al, and Angela!! Hope you guys had a great day....I remembered each of your birthdays but I didn`t have reception this week!! Ohh and Happy Birthday Andrew last week..=)